How we care for one another in the last stage of life and in death is so important.
Many people are uncomfortable talking about, thinking about, and planning for death and dying – which is natural and easy to understand. However, there is so much power in opening up conversations and planning ahead.
If we understand the options and prepare for the end of life, it can help us make better decisions, lead to a better last stage of life and a better death - for ourselves and our loved ones.
According to a recent ‘last stage of life impact report’ by Australian non-profit organisation Violet, over 180,000 Australians die each year and 95% of Australians experienced the death of a significant other in the last two years. Death is a common and inevitable part of life. It is also reported that while 70% of people say they wish to die at home, less than 15% get to do so. Perhaps one of the reasons for this stark disconnect is that only 14% of Australians have a plan in place for the end of life.
It takes courage, but isn’t it time we reclaimed this last stage of our life?
Second 50 is fortunate to have a number of experts on the subject of death and dying in our community. Some of them generously shared their knowledge and experiences as part of this year’s Dying to Know Day, including at a virtual 'Death Cafe' conversation on Zoom. Our enriching and enlightening conversation included end-of-life doula, funeral planner and celebrant, Annie Caulfield and national champion of Palliative Care Australia, Yvonne Coburn, along with Dementia Doula International founder, Wendy Hall and the author of 'A Matter of Life and Death', Rosalind Bradley.
While we won’t publish member discussions or event recordings here (they are for members only), we are delighted to share some of the helpful resources we harvested from our community’s ‘collective wisdom’ on this topic.
Good Grief! is a useful website with easy-to-understand resources to help everyone plan a ‘Good Death’ for themselves and their loved ones. It was created by Australian journalist and author Margaret Rice.
Community organisation Proveda has an excellent Final Checklist and Emotional Will (and more) to help guide you in planning and communicating with loved ones about end of life wishes. Second 50 member, Jessie Williams, is doing amazing work to improve awareness, support and services in this area.
Palliative care is so important in the final stages of life, and it can also help people to live with a terminal illness, and benefit people at the time of diagnosis of a life-limiting condition. Palliative Care Australia has lots of information and a national directory of services. Two Second 50 women - Jessie Williams and Yvonne Coburn are both national champions of PCA.
Compassionate care to better meet the needs of people impacted by advancing dementia is an important part of the good death conversation. Second 50 member, Wendy Hall founded Dementia Doulas International in 2019 and has also created a non-profit organisation to spread support, information, education, liaison and advocacy to those without a voice, from post-diagnosis through to the bereavement stage.
A 2020 Research Report from Western Sydney University’s Caring at End of Life research team, led by Professor Debbie Horsfall, documented experiences of people from nine Compassionate Community projects across Australia over a two-year period, highlighting the challenges and benefits of this model of care.
The Violet Initiative (www.violet.org.au) is a useful website, providing resources and guidance, with the aim to close the gap between “what people hope for and what happens” when it’s time to say goodbye.
Advance Care Planning helps you plan your medical care in advance so if you become too unwell to make decisions for yourself, your wishes can still be respected by your health care team, your family and carers. Advance Care Planning Australia has fantastic information, templates and guidance.
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. David Kessler is an expert and ground breaking researcher on grief. After decades of research and his own experience with tragic loss, grief expert David Kessler ventured beyond that classic framework and sought a sixth, crucial stage: meaning. This is a short (less than 3 mins) but powerful video that explains how integrating grief into everyday life helps to create meaning after the death of a loved one.
Second 50 members can access more of our community’s collective wisdom on death and dying and contribute to it.
If you want to join our changemaking network of women, explore Second 50 membership here.