Melissa’s Second 50 story

For the first time in my life, at the age of 65, I had no idea what I was going to do next. For a few years prior, I had looked forward to being able to slow down and enjoy life. That day would come when I exited the business I had set up with my son, and sold, in 2020. The problem was, I had no transition plan. I suddenly found myself anchorless and in a sea of confusion, about to be unemployed.

Would I just retire and spend my days pottering in the garden, travelling and playing golf… rather badly…? Could I keep myself occupied by volunteering for local community organisations? Or follow my kids around the world to help look after grandchildren? I was faced with so many choices! Blessed with good health and longevity (my dad is about to turn 96 and still lives independently), I can reasonably expect to live another 30 years or more. I desperately want to make those years count just as much as my first 65.

I decided that I wanted to continue working, just not at the same frenetic pace that comes with starting and managing a business. Building Art of Mentoring was such a joyous and rewarding experience, but exhausting. I was 55 when my son Alex and I started it, so I was hardly the stereotype of the young, energetic entrepreneur. And I loved every minute of it… well, almost. Getting through the pandemic and later, the sale of the business, had its moments.

With my background in coaching and mentoring I realised that I really couldn’t work out my future plan on my own, so I engaged the coaching services of Annie Stewart, author of a terrific book called “Career to Calling”. After several coaching conversations and various exercises, I settled on going back to a career in coaching, focused on entrepreneurs and business leaders, for whom my years of experience in creating a successful business and brand might be valuable. I even intended to write a book about what I had learned.

But this did not seem very satisfying to me. Would I really spend my remaining years just helping people make money? I wanted something more. I realised that the last few years had taken its toll and I was pretty burnt out and disillusioned with the world of business. For the first time, I had experienced what I now believe was a combination of ageism and sexism. Yes, gendered ageism is a thing. I was not in a hurry to get into any business venture that would require funding, especially by a bunch of young men.

Annie encouraged me to relax and be open to whatever might present itself as I started to talk to people in my network.

I felt a strong urge to talk to women especially. I believe that older women have so much experience and wisdom, but are under-utilised as mentors to younger people, and I wanted to explore this. I could see the potential of a mentoring program but I hadn’t yet found the right vehicle for it.

That’s when I had a call from Carolyn. We’d met when she was going through a career transition and I was her coach. She told me about what had happened in the couple of years since we’d last spoken, her own feeling of stuckness, and her thoughts about her future options. When she described her concept for Second 50, I knew immediately we could put our ideas and skills together to create something really valuable and special, for the many women just like us who want to make the most of the latter stages of life, either by helping others find their way, or to be helped.

I love what we are building at Second 50. The more we’ve researched, the more convinced we’ve both become that mature women want and need meaningful connections and dialogue, but that’s hard to find in today’s busy world. We want to help women find community again and to look forward to ageing with joy and purpose rather than sad resignation. I certainly aim to re-write my own ageing narrative.

I also love that the way we are building Second 50 is perfectly in tune with where we’re both at in life stage. I don’t ever want work to entirely consume my life again. I need time to spend with my wonderful husband, sons and grandsons. I want to volunteer in my local community. I fully intend to get more exercise and enjoy my beautiful surroundings on the mid-north coast of NSW. And I am building a new house. My life will be full and we will do Second 50 in a balanced, second fifty way. That’s my promise to myself and to Carolyn, and our loved ones.

Thanks for reading my story. Maybe something in it will resonate for you. I hope you join on us on what will be an exciting new journey of discovery, hope and connection.