Discover the secrets to self-confidence and authenticity - Sage Advice Live with Gill McLaren:
Two things I have privately admired about Gill McLaren since we first met last year is her understated self-confidence alongside a real authenticity. I now understand that these qualities are a natural result of discovering and living what Gill terms her ‘best integrated life’.
“You’ve got to know yourself in order to be yourself.” She mentioned this a couple of times during her wonderfully interactive member-only Sage Advice Live zoom, while sharing her passion, knowledge and some great prompts to help Second 50 women start thinking about our own ‘best life’ design.
Gill emphasised that designing a more fulfilling life can be more like a renovation project than a complete knockdown and rebuild - unless you leave it too late.
“In my case, it took a massive jolt to push me into doing it. My big encouragement is not to wait for a health crisis or a tragedy in your own life,” she says. “If you consciously work on it before that happens, you can make big strides towards a better life without overhauling everything.”
Gill’s ‘best life’ quest began after spending 30 years in the corporate world, including two decades with Coca-Cola in the UK, Australia, and Malaysia. When two of her dear colleagues passed away within a year of each other, Gill found herself asking, “What the hell am I doing here?”
This realisation started a ten-year journey of self-discovery alongside a complete career change to help others find and fulfil their own unique life fingerprint.
Central to Gill’s coaching philosophy is that you must know yourself in order to be yourself. However, like many Second 50 women caught up in the churn of life, Gill didn’t know herself very well until later in life. Although her corporate career provided opportunities for leadership and development programs, none of them started from a deep understanding of who she really was.
That meant that most of the time she was second guessing herself. “Externally I looked quite together, but in my own mind, I was having a massive crisis of belonging. I constantly questioned if I was in the right place and if I was enough.”
Many Second 50 women can relate to the importance of the question of where we fit in the universe. Gill believes the answer can often be found in understanding more deeply who we are.
“We are one in 8 billion people and each of us is as unique as our fingerprint,” she says. “There’s a real power in discovering, owning and amplifying our uniqueness. It’s so much better than comparing ourselves to everyone’s else’s highlight reel.”
One way to get to know yourself better is to simply notice what Gill calls the ‘sparks’ in our lives. These are the moments that energise us, or when we feel truly authentic. “You might notice ‘I really enjoyed doing that’, or ‘that was really energising’, or ‘that didn't feel very me’. In our busy lives we often don’t recognise them, but if you pay attention, you’ll start to notice.”
Sparks are just the beginning of the process, and Gill went on to share why reflecting on and clarifying our personal Values, Strengths, and Energy is also essential for discovering your best life.
Values: Gill describes values as our compass in life. Her number one life design hack is to understand your values and live a life that aligns with them.
“Our values help us navigate what's really important. Some things remain constant, while others might shift. Regularly checking in with your value system is key. If things feel off in the world, it’s typically because our values are not in alignment.”
Strengths: Gill encouraged us to identify and celebrate our strengths instead of dwelling on weaknesses.
“Use a strength tool to discover what they are. Ask others what they think you do well,” she suggests. “Often, our strengths are in plain sight, but we overlook them because we think everyone can do what we do. Owning your strengths is crucial for amplifying who you are.”
Energy: Gill prefers to assess her energy rather than time, due to the ‘multiplier effect’ of positive energy. She looks at energy through three lenses: energy givers, energy sloths, and energy vampires. The labels speak for themselves, but it’s worth highlighting that energy vampires literally suck the energy out of you. “This could be tasks you don't like or people who don't bring out the best in you. You might start with ten units of energy and end up with five.”
Being conscious of, noticing, and mapping your energy givers, sloths, and vampires enables you to build an energy plan. The goal is to spend more time in the zone of what gives you energy, rather than depletes it.
This Sage Advice Live was a wonderful stimulus to kickstart any Second 50 woman’s process of life design.
One of the big take-outs (and a core philosophy in Gill’s approach) is that it is not selfish to put yourself at the centre of your life plan. In fact, it’s quite the opposite, because as she says, “when you are fully yourself - living true to your values, amplifying your strengths, and maintaining your energy - you’ll have so much more to give to others.”
Gill certainly walks the talk, living with her family on an acreage surrounded by trees and only a short drive from the ocean, with her sculpture studio integrated into both her house and her life.
I’ll finish where I began, by quoting from Gill on the confidence and authenticity benefits of getting your unique life design right.
“I coach in several women’s leadership programs, and I’ve lost count of how many times women express a desire to be more confident or authentic,” she says.
“The answers to these desires are not external; they must come from within. Confidence comes from knowing who you are, understanding what brings you energy, and using that knowledge to be your authentic self.”
About Gill McLaren
Gill McLaren is an executive coach, founder and CEO of Syntegrate, and author of 'Think. Plan. Live'. In 2016, Gill McLaren left her busy international executive career and started on a quest to discover and design her own ‘best life’. Gill’s own journey prompted her to capture the step-by-step process of discovering her unique 'Life Fingerprint' and the reflective tools and techniques needed to do it. She published her book with the aim of making 'best life' design accessible for everyone to achieve. Gill has adapted strategic planning approaches from the business world to create a unique coaching and consulting approach and is also a passionate speaker on Authentic Leadership, Women in Leadership, and Shared Value Creation.
Website: https://syntegrate.co/
Think. Plan. Live.Complete with tried and tested strategic frameworks, tools and practical advice, Gill provides a 6-step approach to rediscover your strengths, values and passions and to help you steer your life back on track. Learn more/order the book.