What If Grief First Aid Became As Common As Medical First Aid?

Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet most of us have never been taught how to recognise it, respond to it, or support others through it. Our recent Sage Advice Live session with Jessie Williams challenged many assumptions about grief and introduced a powerful concept: Grief First Aid. The conversation left me wondering whether grief literacy might be one of the most important life skills we are yet to embrace.

What would happen if learning first aid for a broken heart happened as often as learning first aid for broken bones?

This was a core question I asked myself after our recent Sage Advice Live learning session with Jessie Williams, who is co-founder of Grief First Aid.

Most people understand why medical first aid training matters, and why it’s a legal requirement to have first aid officers in workplaces and schools.

Though grief is less visible than a medical emergency, one of my first big insights when talking to Jessie, was that grief is all around us. In Australia, each of the 185,000 deaths each year significantly affects an average of nine family members, friends and colleagues.*1

And these figures only relate to bereavement; they don't take into account all the other reasons grief can show up in our homes, workplaces and communities.

As I learned from Jessie about assumptions and approaches that make grieving people feel worse, plus words and actions that can help, it struck me that, for something so universal and inevitable, we get such little guidance on how to recognise, respond and support at a time that really matters.

Why grief literacy matters.

Jessie's journey to co-founding Grief First Aid began after the devastating death of her son over a decade ago. It was an event that shattered her world and identity.

"I learned a bunch of things from that experience of grief," Jessie says, "But the awesome thing is we don't have to live through a grief like that to be able to effectively help somebody else."

Jessie has drawn on her personal experience and her expertise as a social impact entrepreneur to develop better approaches to death, dying and bereavement, including working alongside vulnerable communities and overseeing grassroots grants programs.

As she worked with many organisations and leaders, Jessie recognised a persistent gap in how workplaces responded to people experiencing loss.

"Most employees and managers have never been taught how to respond to someone who is grieving," she says. "People want to help but often hold back because they are afraid of saying the wrong thing, making things worse, or opening a can of worms."

As a result, many people feel isolated and unsupported, at the very time they most need compassion and connection.

Yet Jessie firmly believes that anyone can learn what to do. "Having a little bit of knowledge, a little bit of skill and a little bit of confidence in grief literacy enables any ordinary person to lean in, be present and help others," she says.

Key Insights From Our Sage Advice Live

Our Sage Advice Live session challenged many assumptions we carry about grief and offered positive ways to respond and support others.

I have captured some of the highlights here (Second 50 women can watch on-demand and continue the discussion in our private community)

Grief is broader than bereavement

Grief is not just about death but the natural human response to significant loss and change. This helps explain why grief can emerge (and linger) after divorce, illness, retirement, job loss, or when life unfolds differently than we had hoped.

There is no “right” way to grieve

Many of us have absorbed the idea that grief follows stages, has a timeline, or ends in closure. There are also community norms and expectations about what grief is, what it should be, and what it should look like.

"We get messages about grief and what it is and what it should be from our family, and early life experiences,” Jessie says. Expecting grief to follow these patterns can leave people feeling that they are grieving "wrong" when, in fact, there is no “right” way to grieve.

“We often assume that closure is the goal, but what does closure even mean?” she asks. “Grief is about your heart and about your experiences and about things that matter to you."

Jessie also highlighted the widespread misunderstanding about Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' Five Stages of Grief model (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance), which was originally developed to describe the experiences of people facing their own terminal illness, not bereavement.

“It offers a very limiting view of life and can get in the way of being present to someone else's experience,” Jessie says. “We have even incorporated that into our own judgment for ourselves and think: ‘I’ve been angry for too long. I must try to move on.'"

Grief looks different for everyone

Jessie described grief as being as unique as our thumbprint. Some different types of grief she mentioned include acute grief, anticipatory grief, disenfranchised grief, stigmatised grief, prolonged grief disorder, secondary losses, and vicarious grief.

Some people cry openly, while others cope in different ways. "When my partner and I went through grief together, he didn't cry, and I was thinking that he wasn’t doing the work,” Jessie says. “I later learned that there are ‘instrumental grievers’; people who get busy as a form of dealing with their grief. Neither is right or wrong, just different."

Jessie also shared Lois Tonkin's Growing Around Grief model as a hopeful alternative to the idea that grief should gradually disappear or be "gotten over".

“Grief doesn't necessarily get smaller over time. It tends to stay the same size, but our lives grow around it,” she says. "As we have new experiences, build new relationships, find new purpose and meaning, our capacity grows."

She connected this to the Dual Process Model (DPM), emphasising that healthy grieving involves oscillating back and forth between the emotional pain of the loss and actively adapting to a new, everyday life.

Presence matters more than perfect words

Compassionate support in times of grief is less about having the right words and more about being willing to lean in with kindness and presence.

One of Jessie’s favourite phrases when you don’t know what to say is: "I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say." This is a simple and honest response that acknowledges the pain of a situation, without trying to fix it.

We also explored how some well-intentioned responses are unhelpful, considering the assumptions behind certain phrases, and how a grieving person might feel. Here are a few examples which you might like to reflect on: "Everything happens for a reason"; "They had a good innings"; "It's only a dog".

What Is Grief First Aid?

Jessie has recently co-founded a purpose-led organisation called Grief First Aid with Sally Healey (from Mentally Well Workplaces), to offer practical, evidence-informed training that equips people with the skills and confidence to respond to grief with greater understanding and care.

Grounded in contemporary research, lived experience and a public health approach to bereavement care, Grief First Aid recognises that while specialist grief services remain important, most people benefit enormously from simple compassionate support from those around them.

"Grief First Aid not about diagnosing, fixing, or providing therapy, but equipping people with practical, non-clinical skills that build confidence, psychological safety and a more grief-literate culture,” Jessie says.

The training helps develop a deeper understanding of grief, challenge common myths and misconceptions, build confidence in supportive conversations, and recognise when additional professional support may be needed.

Now that I have started the journey of grief literacy, I am looking forward to developing more skills, including training in Grief First Aid.

For me, this is not about having all the answers, but gaining more skills and confidence to be present, acknowledge loss, and offer compassionate support when it matters most.

Given that grief is such a universal human experience, perhaps Grief First Aid should be recognised as an important workplace and life skill too?

*1 Delphi Study Findings Shaping Grief Literacy: https://grieffirstaid.au/resource/delphi-study-findings-shaping-grief-literacy/

About Jessie Williams

Jessie Williams has built her career around one core idea: that communities are strongest when people show up for each other. From working alongside vulnerable communities, to supporting social entrepreneurs, to leading national conversations about grief and care, she has consistently worked in spaces where generosity meets real human need.

She is now the Innovation Manager at Proveda, a large NFP in Sydney, overseeing 3 grassroots grant programs. Jessie sees generosity not just as philanthropy, but as a shared responsibility to create more compassionate, connected communities.

Jessie is also the co-founder of Grief First Aid, alongside Sally Healey from Mentally Well Workplaces, helping to equip people with the confidence and skills to respond to grief with greater understanding and care.

Visit Grief First Aid: https://grieffirstaid.au